Blended+Families

​ ​ ** ​ Blended Families**



A blended family is complex and can be formed in many different ways. In the remarried families, some children may be offspring of the mother, some of the father, and the remaining may be born to the remarried couple. A child may be living with sisters and brothers or stepsisters and stepbrothers. Sometimes children from blended families also may have visitations with their other biological parent. ** __Current estimates suggest:__ ** 60% of all remarriages eventually end in //legal// divorce. Untold others will experience emotional divorce and unsatisfying relationships. About 75% of divorced persons eventually remarry. About 43% of all marriages are remarriages for at least one of the adults. About 65% of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage and form blended families.

__** Challenges that may occur with Blended Families **__ **__ Parents __** Parents should have a proactive plan on how to prevent household fights. Here are some helpful hints to make a blended family healthy and happy.
 * Children's trust of step mother or step father
 * Jealousy of other stepsisters or stepbrothers
 * Children's sadness due to loss of time spent with other biological parent
 * Parents showing favoritism towards biological children
 * Children dividing and manipulating the parent of choice
 * Disagreements between ex-spouses on parenting issues

There are stages of stepfamily development (Fantasy, Immersion, Awareness, Mobilization, Action, Contact, Resolution) For a description of each stage go to the following link: [] **__Children__ ** Children have the basic needs that need to be met in their lives. These needs should be met primarily by their parents; however, the school can also provide a safe place for these needs to be met.
 * Parents should sit down and have a plan of action on how to bring the families together
 * Privetly set up rules for bed-times, chores, allowances, toys, dating, and homework.
 * Be fair to all children in the household when enforcing these rules
 * Parents should privatly agree to never contradict each other
 * Ex-spouses should agree never to talk bad about the other when children are present
 * Have realistic expectations when combining families - it may take several years to go through the stages of stepfamily development
 * **Safe and secure** – Children want to be able to count on their parents. Children of divorce have already felt the upset of having people let them down, and may not be eager to give second chances to their parents or stepparents.
 * **Loved** – Kids like to see and feel your affection, although it should be a gradual process.
 * **Seen and Valued** – Kids often feel unimportant or invisible when it comes to decision making in the new blended family. Recognize their integral role in the family when you are making decisions.
 * **Heard and emotionally connected to** – Kids are eager for real connection and understanding. Creating an honest and open environment free of judgment will help them feel heard. Show them that you can view the situation from their perspective.
 * **Appreciated and encouraged** – Children of all ages respond to praise and encouragement and like to feel appreciated for their contribution.
 * **Limits and boundaries** – Children may not think they need limits, but a lack of boundaries sends a signal that the child is unworthy of the parents’ time, care and attention. As a new stepparent, you shouldn’t step in as the enforcer at first, but work with your spouse to set limits

**__ Teachers Should: __** **__Resources__** Winning Sepfamilies - Helping Blended Families Succeed -http://www.winningstepfamilies.com/BlendedFamilyPatternofSuccess.html Help Guide - Understand, Prevent, and Help Life's Challenges - [] Blended Family Problems [] Parents as Parnter in Education - Eugenia Hepworth Berger, Seventh Edition, pages 51-53
 * Be in contact with all legal guardians of the child.
 * Refer depression signs to a school psychologist.
 * Document when a student is acting in abnormal behavior for a period of time
 * Let parents or guardians know if a student's behavior has changed in school
 * Let parents or guardians know that if they have any questions about school related issues they can make appointments with you, email you, or call you
 * __Good Teaching Skills Include:__**
 * Teach a unit on different types of families
 * Read books and use materials that demonstrate different types of families
 * Teach problem solving skills
 * Encourage students to take personal ownership of their behavior toward others
 * Avoid using statements such as "Go home and have both your mom and dad sign this permission form" - A more correct statement is "Go home and have a parent or guardian sign this permission form"